We’re nearing the end of this months long Blake extravaganza.. so there’s that.

I’m increasingly aware of my low status in my department.  The funny thing is that I haven’t the slightest clue as to why.  And no one has any intention of enlightening me on the subject.   We have multiple people leaving the department in the steps above my level over the next month or so and the powers that be are looking for people to fill those slots.  Turns out I’m not even in the running as best as I can tell.  Some people who started a little before I did have already moved up and some that have been here less time than me are being looked at for a rise in status.  What I don’t get is that I don’t do any less than these other people.  Heck, I do more than some who are being looked at from what I can gather.  Needless to say, I feel a bit slighted by the whole matter.  My current priority is to complete my English degree and see where things go from there but that’s a couple years down the line.  I’m just not sure how happy I’ll be with this position if I get stuck in it for too much longer.

I’ve been here since the beginning of May last year.  That’s nearly fifteen months ago; a year and a quarter.  If I haven’t even been transitioned out of contractor status by the time my second year rolls around I can be fairly certain that I’ll be a good bit less than satisfied with my lot.  The problem is that the work isn’t bad for the pay but the pay is cut due to being a contractor.  Because I’m a contractor I make a dollar less than regular employees and an additional dollar and change less than second shift is alloted.  So it totals out that I’m making a good two something less than I could be.  I was led to believe that the whole contractor thing would not be a permanent status here at my work and that I’d be switched over to being a regular employee after some time had passed.  While the system works for some it seems to be passing me by.  I guess what really bugs me is that there seems to be no reason that I can see for this singling out.

The only thing that’s ever been a problem since I started here was a handful of tardies from the time that I had to move earlier this year.  Except for the odd problem (like my car on Tuesday) I’ve been on time each day.  I get no complaints for my performance and none for my statistics (I had the highest statistics of all contractors for a couple months after I started).  The only thing left is the possibility that someone along the line has decided to not like me all that much.  Sure, it’s a bit paranoid, but eh.. I keep having the feeling that I should be particularly aware of any sort of knife/spine convergence.

The truly depressing thing in all of this is that I really don’t have much else I can do.  So even if this place never has any intention of transitioning me I have to stick with it.  I can’t afford to go back to a lower paying job due to the whole living alone thing and I need something that can work with my school schedule.  In those respects this job is perfect.  It’s just this bleak pall that rests atop it, a boundary between me and the favored employees.  It’s frustrating.  And I am increasingly doubtful that it will ever change.

Other than that spat of whining my week has been only moderately eventful.  I’ve been living off of Michellina’s microwave meals at work and Pizza Pals and peanut butter sandwiches at home.  I’m down to around $10 left till payday due to poor budgeting on my part.  And then Monday happened.  On Monday I left my apartment around the same time I always do, 2:40-ish, and upon entering my car noticed that it had no power.  I checked under the hood and saw that it appeared that my negative battery cable had corroded clean through.  I IM’d my work through my phone and managed to get someone to come pick me up.  I stood beside my car waiting for my ride till a little after 3:30.  So, on Monday, in 100+ degree heat, I’m standing out there in my work clothes.  By the time my ride arrived the gel heel insert built into my loafers had melted.  Only the right one, though, so it’s a little odd feeling to walk around in.  So I hop into the ride from work and buy him a milkshake to compensate (and I was somewhat sun dried myself) and in the process ripped my slacks.  It’s not a big hole but it’s still there, right inside the thigh.  So here I was: beginning of the week with ripped pants, melted shoes, burned out battery cable, and all in all an hour and a half late for work.  Great.  I had made sure management was aware of my problem with my car and I was assured that it wouldn’t be held against me.  See above for about how much I believe that.

Tuesday I have my father look at it and with some minor tinkering and tightening of my positive battery cable my car is back up and running.  All except the air conditioner.  In the middle of the hottest the summer has been in ages.  Record breaking (or tying) highs.  Only two more days before I get paid.  All I have to do is make it till Friday.. or so I’ll keep telling myself.

Tomorrow should be a hanging out day.  That could be fun.